This is the third and final article to be posted in relation to being three years cancer free. Check out my other two articles from earlier in the week to hear a different perspective on things.
To be honest, I have had mixed opinions on being three years cancer free. Throughout the last two years I have had mixed feelings leading into this important day. To some, it may seem ridiculous to celebrate every single year. I used to think this too, and to be honest, I still kind of do.
Last year, I had a conversation with my coach about how I felt bad for celebrating being another year cancer free. I explained that I felt bad because others are suffering. Others have not been as lucky as I have been and made it to the three year mark. I explained that I felt (and still sometimes do feel) that I didn’t have it that bad. I have nothing to celebrate. When I had this conversation and explained how I felt, my coach encouraged me to celebrate the day. He encouraged me to celebrate what I’ve overcome and how far I’ve come. Since that day, whenever I feel down about the day or even when I struggle throughout the year, I think about that day and realize that I have a reason to celebrate.
Honestly, the last few days have been tough. Whenever a big day comes up that revolves around my cancer (such as anniversaries or doctor appointments) I get weird feeling and get emotional and sometimes angry. Over the last three years I’ve searched deep within myself to figure out how cancer has truly affected me. It’s affected me more than I could even explain. I am not the same person I have three years ago. As much as I hate to say that, I’m not the same. Honestly I don’t think I’ve truly dealt with it. (And other people don’t think I have either see this article from the other day Coaches Q&A)
As I am laying in bed the night before being three years cancer free I can’t help but be excited. Tomorrow (or today when you’re reading this), I get to celebrate life. I get to celebrate with my closest friends and this year, I get to celebrate with my mom.
Although I’m not fully cleared until 5 years post cancer, this is a step in the right direction. To make it another day, to another milestone, and be healthy is something to smile about. As I lay in bed trying to figure out what to say, I can’t help but think of anything besides the word “excited”. To be able to be where I am in my life, this is something I never would have imagined.
Even though cancer has taken so much from me, it’s also given me so much. Although cancer wanted to take my life from me, I owe cancer for giving me life.
My Life As Katie 