I know this isn’t a new concept, not at all. It’s been discussed too many times to count. It’s almost like when you say a word too many times and then it starts to sound funny. You know what you’re saying is right, but you keep repeating it over and over again, hoping that at some point it’ll make sense again.
Awhile back I was watching a movie with my boyfriend and I got fed up with how it’s so common for people to change themselves, their appearance and character, to try and make themselves more appealing to someone they are attracted to. I know this is displayed all over social media and pop culture, but for some reason this night it really got to me. I know we are told not to change who we are because a person should truly love you for who you are and not what you change for them. If we know this, then why do we continue to do it?
While watching this movie, the main character, a young female, was trying to act “cool” and change what she wears and how she talks just so a boy would like her. In that moment, when this was happening in the movie, I couldn’t take it anymore. I looked over at Sam and asked why girls (speaking from the female point of view) think that this is what we have to do to be loved, that we need to change who we are in order for people to like us?
As a 21-year-old girl, i’ve had my fair share of moments when I thought I needed to change myself, how I talk, and what I wear in order to have someone like me. In fact, this is what an entire friendship was based off of, me trying to change myself in order for this friend to be happy with who I was. It was only after this friendship ended that I realized what was truly happening. For over two years I didn’t feel as if my real self was good enough for this friend, so I changed myself in order to be what this friend would say was “good”. Looking back now, I realize how messed up this is. This isn’t the only instance that I have changed who I am to have someone like me.
Although, there have been many situations in which i’ve changed myself for other people, I am starting to realize that the person I am is good enough. I am good enough no matter how I dress and no matter how I talk. I am good enough even though I have tattoos. I am good enough even though I wear sweatpants 95% of the year.
Although, some days are a struggle to realize that who I am is good enough, I know that changing myself for others won’t help anything. After I realized this and cut people out of my life, i’ve been happier and healthier. To see people in TV shows and movies blatantly change themselves for others hurts to watch, because I know there are little kids out there (both boys and girls) who think that maybe they themselves need to change to get others to like them too.